Wednesday, May 22, 2013

4 Years banded

Today marks 4 years since I had lap band surgery.

After 4 years I can't say that I think much about it anymore. Well, I guess I do subconsciously think about it a lot throughout the day, but more in the way you might think about your commute to work. It's just a normal part of your day, you know you got there, but you can't really remember the details of it...
'that sandwich will never get through the band'
'better not get the beef because that will stick in the band'
'wait a minute for your next bite, the last bite is still sitting on top of your band' 
A lot of people ask me if I would recommend lap band surgery-- which is an impossible question for me to answer. What I have learnt over the past 4 years is that the lap band is a different experience for every single person. The success of it depends on a lot of factors and is not just about calories in / calories out or whether you are 'motivated' enough to eat healthy and go to the gym.

I am truly happy for the people that have the lap band inserted and are able to stop dieting, feel full, eat less, start to move more and lose weight. That is the ideal situation, the dream that was sold to many of us by our surgeons, but not the reality for everyone. So many of us that have got to the point of needing weight loss surgery have such complicated relationships with food and exercise that the little band of silicone they insert around the top of your stomach just isn't enough to deal with severe and long-term disordered eating issues.

Since having my lap band I have lost and kept off about 50 kilos. I can't tell you exactly how much because I don't weigh myself anymore, but the main point is that I lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off. So that must mean I am a success right? Well, maybe you could say I am a success on paper. In reality I still deal with a lot of the same disordered eating problems I had before I had the lap band. I would even say that some of my eating issues are worse due to how hard I pushed myself to lose weight with the lap band.

I was desperate when I had the lap band and I felt like it was my last chance to lose weight. I thought that if the lap band didn't work, nothing would work and I would be obese forever. The pressure I put on myself led me to engage in some extreme diet and exercise habits that just added to my already screwy weight loss mentality. Once I had the lap band I was determined to lose weight, no matter what...

Despite what might seem like some negative reflections on my 4 years with the lap band, I am happy that I got it, and I wouldn't want to be without it. I have lost weight, I am healthier, I am happier, I have better relationships with my loved ones, I am more confident and I am a stronger person. Most importantly, I am continuing to push myself to improve my health, my relationships with food and my body. It is a bloody hard path to take!

April 2009
March 2013

If you want to read more about my 4 years with the lap band start here.

7 comments:

  1. congrats :D cant wait till I´ll make one year. I also am not sure what to say when people ask me if I would recommend it, it is hard work, it is not just a quick fix like some people think. It is and will be a struggle as I am a foodaholic. I am just reaching the 20 kilo mark and I hope to lose about 50-60 kilos (so good to say kilos not pounds hahaha no need to convert on google). You are a great inspiration thanks so much for sharing :D

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  2. Congrats on 4 years! You look great, and you are so right that each persons journey is unique!

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  3. I totally call you a success story! Congratulations, you look splendid. I love reading your blog, your honesty about your relationship with food is refreshing. I share the struggle with you!

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  4. You have done so very very well and should be so proud of what you have achieved!! Look at those two photos speaks a million words!! Xxxxx we all struggle with food no matter which journey you have taken!! It's a lifetime battle we just work out how to live with it

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  5. I love how balanced and honest your views are. I have a girlfriend who had her procedure reversed after she learned how to "cheat" the band (alcohol and numerous vomiting episodes - needless to say, dining with her was an *interesting* experience!). I think it's important that people don't see the procedure as a miracle cure, but something that requires continuous work.
    On a more happy note: You look AMAZING! You should be so proud :)

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  6. Well done on getting to 4 years and still having kept the weight off.
    Also, you have and are dealing with the reasons why you gained weight in the first place, that is important too.

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Awww thanks so much for the comment!